This Man Will Pay You To Teach Him About Football, Because He Lied To Impress A Woman - NFL UK Forums
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Old 26.01.2012, 10:13 PM
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Default This Man Will Pay You To Teach Him About Football, Because He Lied To Impress A Woman

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/wan/2819375663.html

From Craigslist:

Quote:
My girlfriend and I were just invited to a Super Bowl party at her ex-boyfriend's apartment, and to be honest, last time I met him he told me he played football in college and I responded that I did as well ?which was a lie.

I don't know why I lied, I guess I just panicked and wanted to impress my girlfriend. Anyway. He asked me what position I played and I told him I played quarterback because that was really the only position I'd heard of.

I really don't know anything about football except for the fact that touchdowns how you score points and sometimes you kick the ball. I've been reading articles on ESPN.com and watching clips online but I don't think it's going to prepare me for questions about actually playing it, or for making good comments during the game. So I need someone who can *quickly* teach me about all of things I would have learned playing football as well as what to say about it.

This is really important to me. I think my girlfriend still really likes her ex and when we first started dating she cheated on me a few times with him, so I really can't risk looking like an idiot in front of both of them.

Oh, also, her ex played "linebacker." Should I know a lot about playing "linebacker" too? Do quarterbacks normally know about that? I definitely will need to learn all the positions and what they do, but it might help for me to learn something from a "linebacker," if you know one.

Seriously, this is really important. My girlfriend and I are going through a bit of a rough patch now and she keeps threatening to move out. I'm afraid if I get caught lying about this our relationship is over.

I'm offering $500, but would be willing to go higher if you're an actual college or professional football quarterback, and would pay extra if you knew a linebacker you could bring along to teach me about his position.

And if you would be willing to text me good comments to say during the game, I'd to pay you an extra $100 for that. Maybe more if they're good comments.


http://deadspin.com/5879673/this-man...mpress-a-woman
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  #2  
Old 26.01.2012, 10:16 PM
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He's taking his girlfriend to a party at her ex-boyfriend's house..........and he thinks not knowing about football is his biggest worry.

Get a grip of yourself son!!!

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Old 26.01.2012, 10:24 PM
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I would happily accept his offer and then feed him a pack of lies.
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  #4  
Old 26.01.2012, 10:40 PM
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"The role of the QB is to get the puck into the goal. This is also known as trying for 3."

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  #5  
Old 27.01.2012, 01:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Montanamagic View Post
He's taking his girlfriend to a party at her ex-boyfriend's house..........and he thinks not knowing about football is his biggest worry.

Get a grip of yourself son!!!

...his gf who has cheated on him multiple times with said ex, and is threatening to leave him anyway.

Why bother?
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  #6  
Old 27.01.2012, 08:53 AM
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I'd take his money then sleep with his girlfriend, who already sounds like she's a wide receiver.
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  #7  
Old 27.01.2012, 09:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boknows34 View Post
I'd take his money then sleep with his girlfriend, who already sounds like she's a wide receiver.
Hahaha briliant! This guy should honestly grow a pair and move on though
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Old 27.01.2012, 09:16 AM
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Yeah, going to a party at the ex's place, clearly still getting length from him.
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Old 27.01.2012, 09:24 AM
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It's like something out of a sitcom.I bet the ex-boyfriend is Joe Namath.
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Old 27.01.2012, 09:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Montanamagic View Post
Get a grip of yourself son!!!
Looks like he's gonna have to soon enough!
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